


so i can't hide my mind anymore.

by infinity_girl



Series: Klancetober 2018 [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fix It, I swear it's mild, Keith Loves His Hair, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Mild Angst, but it's hard, he's trying his best, literally everything I write I write at an ungodly hour, love him plz, post BoM, that's why everything I write sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 05:48:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16340939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinity_girl/pseuds/infinity_girl
Summary: Keith wants to be mad at Hunk. He so wants to be mad at Hunk. But goddamn it, Hunk's too nice to blame.So here he is, in the bathroom, staring at a mirror, with a giant piece of unremovable space gunk in his hair.





	so i can't hide my mind anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Chewing Gum by NCT DREAM! :)

Keith’s frustrated, to say the least. He’d been in the kitchen as Hunk and Pidge had been cooking something up. 

Keith had only been sitting at the table, and he hadn’t had a single second of involvement with the duo. 

So Keith doesn’t know why he deserved this. Really, he has absolutely no idea. It’s not fair to Keith. At all. He’d sue in a matter of seconds if Hunk hadn’t been the one to do it, and if Hunk hadn’t felt so bad afterwards. 

Really, it was impossible to be angry at Hunk for any period of time. The Yellow Paladin was really just too kind. 

Hunk had been opening a can of pink goo. It had splattered all over the kitchen area, coating Pidge and her laptop alike in a thin layer of pink goo. 

She’d wiped her glasses, grabbed the nearest thing, and threw it at Hunk.

It’d been a bunch of herbal leaves. They’d just slid off of Hunk, but Hunk’d taken it as an act of war anyways. 

So a food fight had started. And usually, Keith didn’t mind food fights. He’d watched them with a smile, and then gone back into the retreats of his own mind.

Boy, did he regret it.

He didn’t snap out of his thoughts until he’d gotten a white substance thrown at the back of his head. 

So here Keith was, in the shower. Anxiously trying to scrub the substance out of his hair. 

Keith sighed, and emptied out his shampoo bottle. Aggressively, he began to attack his scalp, hoping to rid his hair of any of the substance. 

It was about twenty minutes of scrubbing later that Keith realized that this probably wasn’t going to work. 

Keith turned to the bathroom mirror, and he kind of wanted to cry.

It wouldn’t come out. That left only one option. 

He’d have to cut his hair. 

Regretfully, Keith closed his eyes. His hair would be gone. 

He grips the sink, and checks the cabinets for a pair of scissors. 

He’s met with silver shears, a thin, red, plastic coating of rubber covering the handle. 

And Keith looks in the mirror, grabs his hair, and he’s about to do it.

He stands there for a good four or five minutes before he realizes he’s never going to be able to cut his hair at this rate. 

He couldn’t ask Allura or Coran to do it. That’d be far too awkward. 

Hunk would just feel bad about the whole thing.

Pidge? She inhaled coffee more than she inhaled oxygen. Keith wouldn’t trust her to do this for the life of him. Not to mention her haircut after she cut her own hair at the Garrison. Thank you very much, but no.

And Shiro? His cutting skills were abysmal. Keith remembers that for the Garrison, they had to do a science fair project. 

Shiro had been terrible. His cutting had been horrendous, and Shiro had been the one to assign the project. After a grand total of twenty minutes, Adam and Keith had voted to banish Shiro to the streets. 

Shiro had been banging on the door for a good four to five hours until they were done. 

So that left, who? Keith counted on his fingers. 

No Allura, no Coran. Pidge, Hunk, and Shiro out-

Quiznack. 

That left the Blue Paladin, Lance. 

Keith groaned into his hand. He didn’t have much of a choice, did he? 

The old Lance would probably never let him live it down. Jokes, poking fun constantly. That had been the calm sort of pattern they’d fallen into. They’d never genuinely been mad at each other. It was just two friends, and some good old playful competition.

But the new Lance? It threw Keith for a loop. 

Keith may have lived out two years in the span of a couple months for the other paladins, but Lance had changed completely in a matter of months.

Keith almost seemed consolation in Lance’s jokes, consolation that nothing had changed. He’d tried, but Lance was just so different. 

He’d changed so much. He lead now. And the team? They listened. Keith really shouldn’t be surprised, but he is.

While Keith and Shiro were still adjusting, Lance had taken charge. And Hunk and Pidge had looked to him. Allura had looked to him. Coran had looked to him for the plan. 

They trusted him, and he’d taken the burden.

And Keith had exchanged a look with Shiro asking what on Earth was going on, and Shiro seemed even more shocked than Keith.

They’d talked about Lance later. How much he’d changed.

Shiro’d made a light joke, “How’d they even survive with Lance as leader? They’d probably be better off with clone me as a leader. What, Lance would just let them all slack off!”

And then Lance showed them. He’d taken their expectations, and crushed them under his foot. 

Voltron was the most effective that it’d ever been. It was beautiful, seeing them in motion. Like a well oiled machine.

Lance had supplied the ideas. The plans. Lance was the one who’d set up the ground layout.

It’d been awkward at first. Allura had asked for the plan, and all three of them began to speak.

Lance had immediately tried to submit to him and Shiro, and Shiro was just about to take it in stride in continue when Keith realized.

Lance’d held the team together during the shittiest of times. He’d done it. And this time? Lance wasn’t the outsider. Keith and Shiro were the outsiders. 

They’d been the ones to barge in on the slowly growing mechanic of the team, so Keith had glared at Shiro, and motioned for Lance to continue.

It’d been awkward. When Lance was assigning roles, Keith and Shiro had been given side roles. Ones not too crucial to the mission. 

At first, Keith had assumed it’d been Lance underestimating him. 

Lance had completely blown his mind as he pulled Keith and Shiro aside, and told them to take the mission easy, and get adjusted to working with the team again. 

And then Keith’d watched them kick ass out there, and Keith had been astonished. 

And then Lance had pulled out his bayard transformations, and that’s when Keith knew he was done for.

And then Keith’d gone to Shiro, hoping that the evident change in Lance’s personality wasn’t just his imagination, and Shiro’d laughed, and said that Lance had grown up to be a warrior.

He brought out the best in Hunk and Pidge, and it was amazing to watch, every single time.

So yeah, it was a bit unusual to be in the Black Lion, with Red one calling the shots, but Keith supposes it’s alright. 

Even when he does lead, he’ll always leave the plans to Lance. Because it’s what Lance does best.

So they’ve reached a standstill. They’re not the same, that’s for sure. They’e different now.

And now they just have to get over themselves and work with it because their relationship won’t be the same as before Keith left. 

Lance is different now.

Sighing, Keith throws on his clothes, grabs the shears, and goes next door. 

And before Keith can overthink the consequences, the things that’ll come with properly talking with Lance for months, knocks thrice. 

Lance doesn’t reply at first, so Keith begins to walk away, anxiety getting the better of him. 

However, Lance is there the second he turns his head away to leave. 

Lance is groggy, his eyes tinted red. His face is raw, and quite frankly, he looks exhausted. 

His voice comes out slightly broken, his throat hoarse, “Keith?”

Keith backpedals. Lance looks like shit, no lie about it. 

So, of course, the first thing that tumbles out of Keith’s mouth is, “You look like shit.”

Lance gives him half of a smile, “No need to rub it in. Whaddya need?”

Keith covers his mouth, “No! No, I swear, that came out wrong. I’m sorry. No, wait, I was going to ask if you’re okay.”

Lance looks down, “Nah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. So, what did you want, Keith?”

Now it’s Keith’s turn to look down, “So, uh, Hunk and Pidge got in a food fight. And some white thing got in my hair, and I can’t get it out.”

Lance looks mildly surprised, “It won’t come out? Did you try letting your hair soak, and then washing it out?”

Keith groans, “Yes! But it refuses to come out!”

Lance makes a face of pity, “That rough, man. So how can I help?”

Keith waves the shears, as if they explain everything. 

Lance’s eyes widen immediately, “Wait, you want me to cut your hair? But I’ve never done this before! What if I screw up?”

Keith sighs, “I wouldn’t ask if I could ask someone else. Shiro and Pidge can’t cut for shit, and Hunk’d just feel bad.”

Lance still looks hesitant.

Keith sighs, “Please? I’ll do whatever you want.”

Lance seems to pull out some shred of confidence out of thin air, “No, no. It’s fine. I’ll do it. No guarantee it’ll be celebrity stylist level, though.”

Keith brushes him off, “It’s fine, down worry.”

They awkwardly hang out there, Keith in the hall, and Lance in the doorway, when Lance realizes he needs to take initiative. 

“Oh. Oh! Come in! Sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I’ll get a towel. Is your hair still damp?”

Lance backs into his room, and Keith follows him in, “Yep.”

Lance smiles, and gestures towards his bed, “Have a seat. I’ll get the towel.”

Keith returns the smile, and awkwardly sits down. 

Keith’s never been in Lance’s room. Lance has been in Keith’s, but never the other way around. 

Lance’s room is surprisingly neat. It’s clean, and well organized. There’s a small pile of clutter on Lance’s nightstand, but it’s just Pidge’s headphones, something close to a MP3 player, and what looks a bit like.a charger.

It’s not what Keith expects, but it’s so Lance none the less. 

A drawer on the nightstand is partially open and Keith peeks inside of it. 

It’s photos. Of all of them. 

He spots a couple of photos of Hunk, Pidge, and Lance from the Garrison. There’s also a lot of the Garrison Trio throughout space, enjoying the world. 

There’s quite a few of Keith as well, which surprises him.

Other than the group shots, there’s several individual shots of Keith. 

There’s one from before everything. Keith’s about to say it’s from space when he notices the backdrop. 

It’s the Garrison.

There’s a couple of Keith after training, or in the Lion Hangar. 

And they’re damn good photos. They’re beautiful, and Keith is kind of speechless. 

They’re all polaroids. Of all of them. 

Lance walks in on him hunched over his desk. 

He quietly lets Keith know of his presence, “So you saw the photos, huh?”

Keith’s eyes widen, “Sorry! This stuff is personal-“

Lance smiles, “Nah, it’s fine. You can look at them while I cut your hair, if you want.”

Keith tried to mask a wince, but by the blossoming smirk on Lance’s face, Keith knew he was done, “What, are you going to miss your mullett?”

Keith whines, “Oh come on, it’s my hair! Cut me some slack. I take pride in my hair!”

Lance laughs, and his face glows. The paladin gently pushes Keith forward, and lays a towel across his shoulders, and on the bed to catch any hair that’s going to fall.

Lance pauses, and Keith turns around to see a blush on Lance’s face, “Can you, uh-“

Lance makes a motion of moving his hand up and down.

Keith raises a brow.

“You’re kind of tall now, okay? I need you to be on my level to cut your hair decently.”

Keith lets the ghost of a laugh filter across his face, and then he tucks his head in, pressing it closer to his chest. He bends his back away from Lance, “Better?”

“Yeah.”

And then Lance’s hands are running through his hair, and anything Keith might have wanted to say is gone from his mind. Because it feels wonderful.

Keith sighs in relaxation, and takes a look at the photos in his hands. 

Keith can feel the cold metal, and the hesitant touches, “Keith, can I-“

Keith softly murmurs, “Yeah, go for it.”

And then he hears the snip. It’s almost satisfying, feeling the lock of hair fall, and the cold metal against his neck. 

They sit in a warm silence for a little bit, when Lance breaks the silence, “You know, for all that I made fun of your mullet for, I’d never have thought in a million years that I’d be the one to cut it.”

Keith flushes, “I don’t think the me from the time we found the Blue Lion would have ever believed that either. Half of the reason that I’d kept the mullet had been to spite you.”

Lance is caught off guard, and stares at Keith, seeming bewildered, “Wait, for real? That’s amazing. Never in a million years would I have thought that the great Keith Kogane would be so-“

“Petty?” Keith finishes for him, a smile cracking through his stern features.

Lance is smiling so hard Keith thinks that it has to hurt, “Took the words straight out of my mouth.

They look each other in the eye, and burst into laughter. 

It’s reminiscent of a better time, a happier time.

Lance is laughing through words, “We were so immature, weren’t we?”

Keith snickers, “Yeah. Honestly, I can’t believe some of the shit I did just to spite you.”  
Their laughter eventually dies down, and they slowly revert back to the silence. However, it feels a little bit more tense as Lance is partitioning his hair. 

Keith tries to break the tension, “You seem like an expert at this.”

Lance smiles, “Yeah. Outside, when I said I’d never done this before? I lied. My siblings would always force me to cut their hair, and I learned to become decent at it. Who do you think’s been cutting everyone’s hair in the castle?”

Keith whines, “Then why didn’t you just say yes? It would have saved me from feeling like a total dick, forcing this on you?”

It was meant as a joke, but Keith can feel Lance’s hands wavering in his hair, hesitant to touch him again. 

And then the tension is restored. Good going Keith.

Lance says something Keith feels like he wasn’t supposed to hear, but with being part Galra, enhanced senses is a package deal, “We’re just not that close. Didn’t think you’d come to me.”

Keith recoils in mild shock, “Wait, what?”

Lance retreats from his hair, “It’s nothing, don’t worry.”

“No, I want to hear this one.”

Keith is stern, and a stern Keith means you don’t get what you want without all hell breaking loose. If anyone’d know, it’d be Lance.

And Lance doesn’t want hell breaking loose. He’s tired of just fitting into every mold you need him for, like pliable clay. He just wants go home to his family.

“No, it’s just- you just- we were good, you know? Before you left for the blades. And then you left, and it hurt. A little bit. And uh, then everything fell apart. Shiro wouldn’t listen to me, and kept on lashing out at me, and then Allura happened, and Hunk and Pidge just weren’t there, and-“

Lance takes a breath to calm himself. His voice had gotten higher, more panicked and pitchy, “And then Shiro didn’t make the choices that needed to be made, I guess. So I had to step up. Red’s supposed to be an advisor to Black, right? Well, all Shiro did was shut me out, so I’d develop plans before the mission. Run it by Pidge and Hunk. We’d had a good thing going.”

Lance’s eyes start accumulating with tears that won’t be shed. Not on his watch. He’s not going to cry in front of Keith, “And then it wasn’t Shiro. And then you were back. And then I could just slip into the background again. But it wasn’t the same, and I couldn’t pretend to just be some womanizer who doesn’t give a shit anymore, and I guessed I messed up the team dynamic.”

“Because now you can’t talk to me, and you don’t even look at me the same. Shiro’s always too surprised when I say something remotely intelligent in nature. Allura’s just, trying to go with it. She’s making do with me, I think. I’d like to think Hunk and Pidge work with me, but I can’t even confirm that. They said some stuff that didn’t set well with me, and it was done.”

And then Keith realizes no. No, Lance wasn’t pulling away. He never was. Keith was searching for something that was never there in the first place. Someone that was never there in the first place. And then Keith hated himself for it.

And then Keith turns around and hugs Lance. Because Keith can’t do emotions for the life of him, but he can do instinct. And he wants to hug Lance right now and never let go, and he’s going to do it before he overthinks it and it remains a thought of the things he’d never done.

And Lance is sitting there, limp, until he eventually hugs Keith back.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“It is.”

“I get everything now. I fucked up so bad, Lance. I just-“

“It’s really okay.”

And then Keith buries himself in Lance even more, “I can’t believe I’ve avoided you for months, just for something this stupid.”

Lance murmurs, “It’s okay, really. I didn’t tell you because I blame you. I told you because I was going to self-destruct if I didn’t tell someone, and you pushed all the right buttons at the right time, and I didn’t want to bother to try to dodge you again. Confrontation helps me sleep at night.”

“You say that like you sleep.”

Lance is caught off guard, “Meaning?”

“Meaning we’ve got thin walls.”

And then Lance’s laughing again, “Does that mean you heard all of the Shakira covers?”

“I could see you on American Idol. i mean you’re not American, but- you know what, how about the Voice? Or like, X Factor. One of those shows.”

Lance’s smile is back full force. A real one. One that Keith rarely sees. 

And then Lance is gorgeous. He is. His eyes are a sparkling blue, like the ocean. His lips soft, and he just looks so perfect.

So Keith kisses him. Because Keith runs on impulse alone, and Lance looks really beautiful like that. Just sitting there, a loose smile on his face.

Really, Keith doesn’t think he’s impulsive. He just knows if he waits a second longer, he’ll overthink, and never get anything done.

(Well then again, Keith guesses he’s been proven wrong. People constantly praise him for having good instincts, and Red’s quite literally the temperamental lion. So, there goes that theory.)

But yeah. Keith’s lips are on Lance’s, and Keith can just feel his fears coming forth.

Lance isn’t kissing back. 

So right now, their just sitting, face to face, with Keith’s lips on Lance’s. And Keith is sort of beginning to regret everything. He’s beginning to regret ever going to the Garrison (then he wouldn’t have gone on this damn space trip which led to him kissing Lance in an embarrassingly one sided way), he’s beginning to regret talking with Shiro (because if he hadn’t known Shiro then he’d never have gotten kidnapped in the blue lion and taken to space where he’d kiss Lance in a way that was still awkwardly one sided, and he regrets-

And then Lance pulls away ever so slightly and whispers, “You kiss like a second grader.”

“Says you. You’re probably a virgin.” Keith is flushed red, attempting to throw insults. To do anything to make this any less awkward than this is.

And now Lance is red, “How’d you know?”

“Wait, you are?”

“You didn’t know?”

“But you flirt with anything within two feet of you!”

“That doesn’t mean that I’m getting some!”

And then Lance laughs, and it sounds beautiful. Lance’s laugh is bright, and it makes Keith want to laugh along.

Keith tries to push down a smile, but gives in.

And Lance flushes red, “I feel like I’m always getting nostalgic with you.”

Keith smiles, hiding his face in his hands, “Sorry. For that. By the way. I guess I read the mood wrong.”

And then Lance’s brow furrows, and holy shit if that isn’t hot, “For what?”

“For kissing you.”

And then Lance sighs, and pulls Keith’s face closer.

And then Lance kisses Keith, and it feels right.

It feels amazing. It feels like everything has come together. Keith knows why Lance said that he kisses like a second grader. Because if this is what kissing is supposed to feel like, then Keith regrets not doing this earlier.

It’s over too soon, and they pull apart breathless.

Lance’s face is mildly concerned, “So, uh, what are we going to do? About this? Because we’re sort of in a war, and I don’t really know what you want. So uh, is it physical? Because I’m not really into that, sorry. Um, I-”

Keith takes Lance’s hand, and smiles, “We’re whatever you want us to be.”

That seems to make Lance relax, so he settles down on the bed, leaning into the comfort it provides. 

Lance has a knowing smile, “Your hair isn’t done yet, you know.”

And Keith full on whines.

______________

When Keith walks in with a new haircut, Pidge starts laughing, and doesn’t stop for a good ten minutes. Hunk’s admittedly trying to apologise, but the Yellow Paladin can’t do so without at least a very wide smile.

To Hunk’s apology, Lance merely replies, “I owe you one. Took us years, but we finally got rid of it.”

Keith’s face is mildly offended, mixed with annoyance, and something that Shiro can’t recognize.

Shiro’s silently crying with laughter in the corner. Allura sends him a mildly concerned glance after walking in the room. Shiro makes some sort of dismissive gesture.

Because sometimes you have to enjoy the small things in life, right?


End file.
